Meet the Ladies
Madeline Valente
Maid of Honor, Sister of the Bride
Distinction: Snapchat Queen
Fun Fact: Lived with Charles and Tom for most of her life, and still turned out normal. The power of Norway!
In her words: "You love each other, then you hate each other, then you love each other, then you hate each other, then you love each other. That's more love than hate; it's why you work." [this quote has been edited for clarity and to remove slurring]
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Jill Cunniff
Bridesmaid, Sister of the Groom
Stats: Kids: 2. F*cks given: 0 (remember, she still has 2 kids!)
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Fun Fact: Once outdrank Mike three months after giving birth
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In her words: [nobody ever understands her]
Brie Cunniff
Bridesmaid, Sister of the Groom
Days past since she sang "Redneck Woman" at a family gathering: Not enough
Fun Fact:
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In her words: You've really got to experience it first-hand.
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Claire Dunphy
Bridesmaid
Stats: Top 7 Bridesmaid; Top 3 Roommate; Top 2 Claire Dunphy; No. 1 W[h]ine Night Participant
Fun Fact: Gained 20 pounds after moving in with Nicole; lost it all immediately after they graduated. Coincidence? [thinking emoji]
In her words: "Remember that one time we tried out for the cheerleading team? This can't be worse than that."
Colleen Kaferly
Bridesmaid
Flaw: roots for Notre Dame *boo hiss*
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Fun Fact: Will have PTSD for years after standing in one too many lines for limited edition beer releases.
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In her words: "In this world of givers and takers, I guess I'm a taker."
Emily Trefry
Bridesmaid
Stats: Teaches math to high school seniors. There's no joke here, it's just a pretty cool thing.
Fun Fact: Wore a onesie to college parties, plural.
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In her words: "It's time for Christmas music!" in October, in July, in March.
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Lindsey Plassio
Bridesmaid
Occupation: Ghostbuster
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Fun Fact: Actively encouraged her now-husband to flirt with the girl at Maudie's, for the extra cheese it got them.
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In her words: "I'm really just in it to hang out with Claire"